求专家帮我批改一下雅思作文,最好能给个评分,4月30号考啊~写作要到六分要怎样提高啊?

求专家帮我批改一下雅思作文,最好能给个评分,4月30号考啊~写作要到六分要怎样提高啊?
Task2：Some teachers think students should be organised into groups to study.Others argue students should study alone.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In contemporary society,increasingly issues about education of students are causing great concern.Some teachers believe that studying alone is a better way to exercise students’ learning ability.This argument may be true.However,I am personally tend to the opinion that students should be organized into group to study together.
There are several arguments contributing to the view that student should study together.To begin with,students who are organized into group may effectively enhance their efficiency in study.Specifically,when students meet with some problems in the process of leaning,they can help each other.For example,in some classes,teachers encourage students to learn together or discuss a question in small group,which help students to acquire the important knowledge as soon as possible.Also,studying together enables students to exchange ideas with one another.For instance,group discussion can make every students participant in class activity and studying together may weaken students leaning interests.Furthermore,studying together may cultivates team spirit.As a result of it,students may learn to how communicate with teachers and other partners in a team work and improve student’s interpersonal skill.
By contrast,those who argue that students should study alone have their reasons.The main argument for this is that studying alone can encourage students to think some questions independently.More specifically,in a group,students are easier to depend on others rather than think some questions independently.This means that student together has it shortage.In addition,studying alone helps students to better concentrate on themselves study.For example,students may not be affected anyone or anything and make students intend on their learning.Nevertheless,always studying alone may render students unwilling to communicate with and to learn from other students.
To sum up,I tend to believe that students should be organized into group to learn.Although study alone can make student more concern about their leaning,it also restrains creative and communicated ability..